It is quite impolite to steal chocolate

I haven’t posted in awhile (I continue to astound myself with my powers of observation) and there’s a bit of an explanation as to why- I haven’t been in a good mood.  I’ve been in headache land with Mr. Sore Ass and Mrs. My-Life-Sucks and we’re having a party.

A drowsy, achy, loud little party in which nothing is safe, not even my chocolate.

There are a couple of topics I’ve been wanting to write about, however, and now that I find myself with only a mild headache in a moment of unfortunately caffeine fueled clarity, I decide it’s a good idea to write it. And I agree with my good idea.

As has been my typical, I usually have a thing against disclosing anything related to my employment for privacy reasons, but in order to tell you these stories, I must divulge one tiny detail. The type of work in which I do. Here it comes… here it comes… :::gulps:::

Fast Food.

There, I said it. It’s not a particularly shameful line of work, nor one I am particularly proud of. It goes against most any morals I consider my own (of course, there is another line of work I’ve been in that went against pretty much all of them- healthcare. Don’t get me started.)

Anyway, now I’m finding myself restarting this particular sentence a million times, reminding myself the main reason I don’t disclose employment information- I’m laying out a fine line of egg shells in which to walk across from here on out when discussing my work. That’s ok, it’s worth it, because I want you to have a better understanding of my words when I tell you that I am most frustrated with the rumor mill at work right now. Anyone who has worked in Fast Food knows just how deadly that mill can get, lol.

Apparently, somebody has decided to spread it around that I do drugs with a fellow coworker. Now I admit, if it was that particular coworker who is spreading these rumors, I kind of had it coming, I did nearly hit her with my car (ok, so there was half a parking lot in between her and my car, and plenty of time to stop, but I did take the corner sharply and it freaked her out) That’s beside the point.

If it wasn’t her, then I kind of and kind of don’t want to know who it was. I kind of want to partake, see just how twisted I can make these rumors, but I don’t want to get in trouble, lol. I was already complaining to a coworker about this particular rumor (I found out because somebody asked if I had any…) and we decided to play around with rumors that day and see just how easy it would be to spread one. We corrected any that we came up with, but found it quite incredibly easy to start one, and it took nothing more than an insinuation. It was a neat little scientific study, and something that passed the time on that slow freakin’ Easter Sunday.

But still, I have to wonder, is it so easily believable? Do I act high? Do I look high? As my coworker pointed out, there are plenty of others it would be much easier to spread that rumor about… but those are usually the ones who have already admitted it… I guess it’s only fun to spread rumors when one or both of these things is true: 1. They don’t know about it and 2. It’s not true. Anyway, it’s Fast Food, what can I say?

And then I think of one of the best moments in my Fast Food career, and quite possibly one that may have helped fuel the rumor. And the most hilarious part of it, was the customer telling me I had to write about it. I must point out first, I did not know this lady at all until this moment. Had never seen her before in my life.

So I’m standing in my place of employment, wearing a headset, on drive through that day. I hear a sudden *ding!* and I sigh, push the button on the ear piece, and give my usual line “Thank you for stopping by name redacted, what can I get for you today?”

It was a hot day, even hotter inside, I was tired, and generally just didn’t want to be there, and on those types of days I rely more on my own personal ‘scripting’ than intellectual conversation to get me through the day (so the next time you think drive through workers are mindless idiots- no, we’re just so tired of the bullshit around us-often caused by irate customers- that we just decided it’s more productive to zone out the rest of our day.)  But this particular customer intrigued me, as the first thing she asked was “Do you guys have any diet doctor pepper? Oh please tell me you do!” She already showed a thousand times more energy and potential than the average customer. And I hadn’t even seen her yet.

I’m a little more awake at that moment but still expecting not to have much interaction with a busy customer stopping by a drive through for cheap food and less-than-stimulating to no conversation, so I pushed my little button and said, “we sure do.”

“Oh great! I’ll have a large diet doctor pepper then!”

Now, for people like me, ones who find speaking with people they can’t see difficult (Hello, HATE telephones…) I rely even more so on my ‘scripting’ than improvised conversation over the headset. Some examples of ‘scripting’ include, if someone asks just for beverage “would you like something to eat with that?” If it’s just a food product, “would you like something to drink with that?”

So, my tired, sleepy, headachy little self replies with these exact words, “would you like something to drink with your drink?”

I didn’t even notice my slip-up until the customer started laughing and says, “I already have a drink with my drink!”

And I burst into laughter with a fairly prideful amount of embarrassment, apologize, give her the total and she pulls around to the window. It was the most refreshing part of my day, as she says it is hers too. We have a good laugh, and she tells me “you should put that in a book you’re going to write one day”

I was absolutely shocked. I told her, “well, actually, I am a writer. Maybe I will!”

She tells me, “good! you should then! Maybe not say it was you who said it though.”

I grinned and told her, “nah, I’ll definitely say that I said it. I like to laugh at myself. After all, what else are you going to do when you ask a stranger if they would like a drink with their drink?”

She loved it, told me ‘I should take that in front of the board’ and I’d get a lot of laughs and people wanting my book. It was incredibly strange to meet somebody interesting and funny and the weirdest part being her comment about ‘putting it in a book I’ll write one day’, before she even knew I was a writer. So I figured as we had our last laughs of the moment and she drove away, it must mean something. I will one day put it in a book, and until then… it is totally going in my blog!

So thank you, to the lady, wherever she is, for providing my day with a bit of laughter and confidence (it was a self esteem boost, strangely)

And back to the topic of rumors…. “would you like a drink with your drink?”

Nah, I don’t see how ANYONE could POSSIBLY think I sound, act, or look high at any time in any moment for ANY reason… lol. And for the record, no, I don’t do them, but I am quite capable of providing strangers laughs at my own benefit, and I love doing so.

So, I genuinely hope you got a little laugh out of this blog. If not, I’m sure I’ll be posting another little moment like this eventually. I’m quite good at them, lol.



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