As I am utterly too distastefully lethargic and somber to submit a proper and eloquent portion of subliminally sarcastic non-fictional rambling and or possible satire, I am mandated by obligation to present to you this utterly wretched piece indubitably reflecting the state of consciousness in which I currently reside.
By proper varieties of self-inflicted yet vigorous training and physical manipulation, I have succeeded in increasing the momentum of my exertion and focus to an almost appropriate level considering the state of being I narrowly and currently inhabit, close to near non-existence in the actuality that I am expending an obtuse amount of my time simply existing off the premise that by thinking naught but inactivity will get me nowhere.
Why do I submit to such a notion? Why must I subscribe to the belief that inactivity is a glorified means to counter-productivity, thus forcing myself to reel and wretch and agonize over just how I arrange to differentiate myself from such behavior instead of focusing on the healthiest aspects of my existence, and how I may progress in such a direction as to facilitate real health as opposed to jumping up and catering to the whims of others and refer to that as proper exertion?
I suppose because I obtained this supposed credence through well-meaning yet fictitious societal standards in which an individual, most in particular a female, must expend all of her time and resources into gratifying the needs and demands of others in order to be considered simply… passable. Thus depleating my natural ability to obtain self-worth and growth and the ability to differentiate between the usage of my capabilities to please others, and the usage of my abilities to care for myself in a sufficiently healthy manner.
1. I’m going to stop thinking that the only way to live well is to live by the standards of others
2. I’m going to get up and start doing healthful activities
3. I’m going to stop thinking that I’m not worthy unless I’m working full time or for “a good cause”
4. I’m going to improve my self esteem
5. I’m going to continue exercising, eating right, focus on pushing away negativity and work on creating a new positive attitude.
Oh, and I’m going to work on shaking the belief of our society that women HAVE to work all the time and take care of others before her own needs to be an appropriate human being and worthy of love. Eff that. I’m focusing on my writing, I’m focusing on school, and I’m focusing on improving my health. I’m not going to let my place of employment tell me I’m a bad employee because I can’t work on THEIR schedule instead of my own, because I can’t alter my entire life for their needs, particularly when they can’t make me promises to take care of my needs as an employee even if I were to do so. Taking care of others is a natural state of my being, therefore I will never stop doing so, but I’m not going to do it at the expense of my health. After all, I can’t take care of others if I’m dead or dying or too sick to function. After this recent bout of bronchitis and some other situations, I’ve realized that life is just too damn fragile and precious to waste worrying about what others think and feel. Just let things go, push away your anger- it’s just a waste of time. Let things happen the way they’re meant to happen. The more you fight, the more painful it’s going to be.
Let go of your anger and let yourself be overcome by positivity and contentment, and know that no matter what- change IS going to happen. There’s no stopping it- so why become angry and fight it? Embrace it, and let good things come to you.
That is all, have a good night.
Take a gander at my folio of authorhood:
Call upon the content of my moving picture folio:
Be submersed into the world of my inscribed utterance: