What You Would Do if You Were Me

catgrin1What you would do if you were me and had…. A SHIT-load of leftover rice.

1. Get a pan.

2. Get a can of beans

3. Make enchilada sauce

Mix can of beans with leftover rice. Layer on corn tortilla shells with enchilada sauce. Throw in oven and pray.

Oh oh oh..... yum

Oh oh oh….. yum

What you would do if you were me and had…. No gas in your car.

1. Dig out all possible change in your vicinity

2. Pray

3. Baby talk your car into running just a little longer

4. Sweet talk your car into running just a little longer

5. Naughty talk your car into running just a little longer

6. Beg your car into running just a little longer (Come on, I’ve pretty much covered the entire verbal reproductive act here)

7. Finally dig up enough quarters to run just a little longer.

Magic, isn’t it?

Please baby, run just a little longer? Seriously, what car wouldn't for that?

Please baby, run just a little longer? Seriously, what car wouldn’t for that?

 

What you would do if you were me and had…. Insomnia and have tried EVERYTHING but sticking my head in the oven….

1. Take a shit-load of benedryl right before bed.

2. When you’re groggy in the morning (because of said benedryl) make the damndest strongest cup of coffee you can (it helps if you go to Italy, or have a friend in Italy send you a really awesome coffee maker because their coffee is STRONG- Thanks Jay 🙂  )

3. Don’t drink coffee after 3 pm (or your 2 benedryls turns into 3)

tick...tock...tick...tock....

tick…tock…tick…tock….

What you would do if you were me and had…. Your massage therapy license.

1. Absolutely opposite of all advice you give to your clients to keep healthy

Crap. I’m seeing a theme here.

I included this picture purely to say... WTF?? That poor kid, not even born and already heading into a life of sickness and dietary disaster.

I included this picture purely to say… WTF?? That poor kid, not even born and already heading into a life of sickness and dietary disaster.

Ooh! Dinner’s done!

Pray for my enchiladas, dear readers. And sleep well, my pretties!

Stacey

Zzzzzzz

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*******************************************************************************

“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity”

-Edgar Allan Poe

*******************************************************************************

cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

2 responses to “What You Would Do if You Were Me

  1. You shouldn’t take all those meds… even though I have no clue about what a benedryl is… I think you should run as fast as you can into a wall instead, or ask someone nearby to strike you in the head with a baseball bat… that would be a healthier way to get some rest… it would leave just a few bruises, and your liver would appreciate it! 😛
    Oh, you’re welcome, by the way… 😉
    J

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s