Tag Archives: acting

Close your eyes and make a wish

I don’t know why I titled my post this way.

Mostly because I was too busy trying to dictate “hm what should I write, what would look best to any agents that may peruse my blog in order to determine my worthiness”

Eh, how about honesty.

So I said to myself “just close your eyes and… make a wish!” I meant to say “write” but oh well.

Ok, I’ll do that. No I won’t. I’m done wishing. I’m here to DO, now, and what I do is write, and massage, and live, and try to love others the best I can, and I act, and I do improvisational comedy, and what is one of the number one rules of improv?

Just jump out there and fucking do it. Just fucking SAY it. What are you doing? Fucking SAY it! Tell the audience where you are, what you’re doing, who you and your partner are to each other. Don’t leave us guessing, don’t make us wonder. Just fucking SAY IT. (In the words of our artistic director).

That’s a wonderful approach to life itself, and all the relationship paradigms within our realities. Just fucking say it. I took that approach recently with someone I am very close with and felt myself losing them. Time will tell. But it feels good to just fucking SAY IT.

We’ve been ruined by sitcom-culture. Short attention spans, unwitty humor, only follow small plot lines, won’t get to the point, pussyfoot around the tough parts, always expect a pleasant outcome but never make the effort to get there, and if it lasts more than 22 minutes we’re done with it.

It ruins relationships, because it gives us unrealistic expectations. Boy always gets the girl, siblings always fight, best friends always stay best friends (unless the plot makes them better enemies), parents always argue, lovers never argue or always get over their argument quickly (within 22 minutes, in fact).

It gives people unrealistic expectations of their fellow humans here on earth. It makes people lump together “good advice” as to how things “Are” or “should be” and pass it around social media like a fucking virus. None more so than in the relationship category.

“If things are meant to be, they’ll find a way”

“If someone really wants to spend time with you, they’ll make time, no matter how busy they are”

“A real man/woman will never break your heart”

There are so many more, but the fact is, all this good-intentioned “advice” is PURELY EGOTISTICAL.

It is the advice of one person who lost out on what they thought something SHOULD BE, and decided to tell others that if theirs WASN’T what it SHOULD BE, it wasn’t meant to be at all.

So if he doesn’t spend a lot of time with me and he’s very busy and his awkward self sometimes says things he doesn’t realize hurts my feelings and rarely texts back means, according to typical relationship advice (that I avoid at all costs) that he doesn’t love me, doesn’t care about me, nothing is real, it won’t grow, it’s not meant to be. Because if it was, he wouldn’t say hurtful things, he wouldn’t work, he’d spend all his time and money on me, and it’ll happen magically with little to no effort on anyone’s parts.

Get out of that fantasy.

Real relationships of ANY paradigm take some work. Mostly they take honesty and compromise, that I’ve noticed. Be honest with how you feel. You may think “he doesn’t spend enough time with me, he must not like me” but have you actually SAID IT? “I don’t feel like we spend enough time together, it makes me insecure about how you feel about me.” Guess what is possible, even though we rarely see it anywhere BUT a sitcom (which doesn’t do the talking for us, you know.) IT’S POSSIBLE TO TALK THINGS OUT. And even come to an even more satisfying conclusion than if the conclusion you were looking for was storybook perfection. Because the downfalls in all relationships always build depth, so that the good sides can have much more meaning than if the bad had never happened.

And sometimes there are deeper issues causing problems that typical relationship advice does not take into consideration (because relationships can never be uncomfortable, and deeper issues are uncomfortable).

All anyone WANTS to hear is, “if it doesn’t feel perfect, it’s not meant to be”

So we search all our lives looking for the one that makes us feel “perfect”, and since there IS NO SUCH THING in the reality of our human egos, to feel “perfection” it gives us the perfect excuse to avoid working out actual problems.

And when we do find what we perceive to be “perfection” quickly falls apart when our idealizations of one another give way to imperfection and we can’t handle it.

You know what a real relationship is?

Two entirely flawed people making it work.

You put in the effort you wish to receive from the relationship, and you make it work. Sometimes, especially in the beginning or the beginning of a necessary change, this effort is one-sided. If it’s meant to be… You’ll keep on trying.

Fate or destiny or whatever, may be what gives us the opportunity. But we need to take that opportunity and utilize it, fate won’t do the hard work for us. This isn’t sitcom, this isn’t movies. Things CAN “just happen” but then it’s up to you to keep it going, determine whether it is good for you, whether you are ready to put in that work or the time isn’t right, just keep on moving, or go for it. Relationships don’t come with instructions. The simple thing to remember is, all you can do is what’s best for you. And sometimes what’s best, is putting forth the work in order not to lose the best thing that ever happened to you. Because even though every moment may not be perfect, and in fact, as of late, most moments have been worse than the last, you still recognize its purpose in your life. It just opens another opportunity in healing.

If it feels entirely wrong, then walk away.

The fact that neither has, to me, says something big.

The bigger truth is, sometimes it just takes faith. Effort and faith. I like that. Then you’ll find things starting to get easier and flow more smoothly.

Don’t be afraid to look or sound like an idiot and just fucking say what you mean.

Nobody’s perfect. I sound like an idiot all the time.

Now I do it with complete honesty.

I FUCKING HATE NEGATIVE EMOTION

There, I’ve had my say.

Even I didn’t know this was so bottled up inside of me until I started writing this post. Dude.

Awesome.

Have a beautiful day,

Stacey

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Scared shitless

Because I am nothing but honest with my readers/fans, I would like to share a little story. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared shitless in my entire life. Why?

Well, it’s a long story and I’ll get to that. I was one of those children whose WORST fears when it came to anything social was being in a crowd and not knowing what to do. The feeling that everyone knew what to do but me. Especially if I was being watched or anything was expected of me. There are certain things I have trouble memorizing (sequence, for starters.) The reason I write out-of-sequence, before putting pieces together.

When it comes to acting plays you can see where this may become a problem. As a child I opted out of anything that I’d have to learn rules/sequence (except dance, but even then I ended up joining a troupe of mostly improv moves, subtle visual cues and just learning to trust my fellow troupe dancers and myself)

I always thought if I got into acting, I would suck at improvisation and was always terrified to try. But it’s the monologues I’m having trouble with.

Tonight we had our first “stumble through” of our upcoming play. Not only did I get the impression everyone knew more than I did- They did. They all knew their lines either in part or whole. Yes, as a mystery dinner theatre it’s partial improv with some monologue that we’re allowed to play a bit with. Ok. BUT… I’m a busy woman (no excuse). Let’s try again. I’m riddled with fear (nope, that’s not right either) I rewrote my monologues last night (that’s the truth) and failed to memorize them on time, then panicked and forgot everything I did have memorized (all my other lines, when to come in, last lines of others’ monologues so I knew when to come in- my guiding star. Etc.)

I’ve discovered a lot about myself in this endeavor. 1. I’m learning all about ME. 2. As long as I know WHEN I come in, I can memorize anything I damn want. I always knew that where my efforts of sequence are AWFUL, my skills of memorization are precise, quick, photographic. As long as I know what line to listen for an actor to say, I know exactly where to come in and how. So put the new monologue aside, realizing that’s a non-worry and it’ll be completely memorized by tomorrow. It’s when actors change their lines on stage that confuses me, then leaves me with that “everyone knows what’s happening but me” sensation.

See, tonight I tried to go “au-natural” my term for NO SCRIPT (except my new monologues, one nearby to glance at briefly, the other longer one on a piece of paper to glance at in my hand.) The rest I went over enough to remember where I came in, since my miscellaneous lines are brief and mainly improvised when I speak them. I have nothing against my fellow actors improvising, when done at me I can usually respond pretty quickly. But when they add, forget or change that last line of theirs I had memorized to know where I follow, all is lost, and I’m like… Duuurrr….

Anyway, I am learning to overcome that, along with my childhood fear. I learned: Even if that is the case, nothing bad happened! The world did not end, I did not die, I did not run out of the room, people did not stare at me funny or make fun of me or decide I’m horrible on the spot. I was ok. I am ok. And that’s the best thing to remember.

So moral of the story, Trust yourself, and listen to your inner voice.

You’ll surprise yourself every time.

-Stacey Katheryn

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“To survive, you must tell stories.”

-Umberto Eco

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cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

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Three Days And Counting For Mystery Dinner Theatre!

MysterDinnerTheater

It’s being put on by The Rotary Club of Rapid City (link below) I’ve been a busy little bee, working on a murder mystery play since July. I have to say I am in love with acting, and I never want to stop.

I’ll have pics to post soon, and wish me luck! (Or break a leg! But since I’m dancing in it too, I’d rather not)

Good night, friends!

Stacey Katheryn

http://www.rapidcityrotary.org/mysterdinnertheater

*********************************************************************

“To survive, you must tell stories.”

-Umberto Eco

*********************************************************************

cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

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And…. ACTION!

I don’t have a lot of time, I must make this brief (haha, get it, “brief”). I’m sunburned and I must go put on some aloe, or who knows what may happen (Um, it might stay a little redder a little longer. Maybe itch a little.)

I have some challenges I must soon face. Massaging and choreographing and dancing and performing as a dead woman in one half a commercial (in the other half I’m alive) but I play somebody who is ten years older than myself. (Hey, in the play, I’m ten years younger, so… yeah.) I must say, since the two balance one another out, I won’t take it as a commentary upon my age. I can play a 19 year old as well as a 39 year old, I say I’m ok (Ha. Ha. So far people can believe the mother of two teenagers more than the 19 year old. Well, depending on who you ask. I’m just sorry I asked anyone, hehe.)

Ah yes, and I’m acting. And choreographing a dance number for me and two other gals, who I have yet to find but you know, it’ll happen.

One is a scripted commercial and the other is a half scripted/half improvised murder mystery play. The best of both worlds. I was privy to be witness to the shooting of a commercial in the same series of commercials I’m taking part in. Makes me wish I’d gone to the Art Institute of Seattle for film directing after all, lol (But don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to be anything but a massage therapist now and becoming one changed my life in miraculous ways, I am immensely forever grateful to my teachers and clients and colleagues and profession.)

But don’t worry, I’m still writing (EDITING at the moment, I hardly call that RELEASING MY INNER CREATIVITY. Why yes, this word is misspelled I must take all the magical creativity within my soul and… and…. correct it! Yawn.).

It was difficult not speaking up when I was watching the director with his camera. I gave some advice but I wanted to get in there and adjust angles and pipe up with story line ideas and go hog-wild crazy, at the same time I wanted to jump in front of that camera and start going wild. It was wild, haha. REPETITIVE. Rehearse. Do it once. GREAT! Let’s try it a couple more times. I THINK THAT’S THE ONE!! Let’s do it a few more times just to be sure. TENTH TIME IS THE CHARM!!! Yeah!!!! Now, let’s do the exact same thing twice as many times from two other angles…. HEHE. All the while the man playing the bad guy is standing in the background bored to tears and absentmindedly playing with his switch blade (creepy), and I inadvertently insulted a cop (I saw him in costume and said “nice get up” I meant the compliment and he thanked me. Haha. Finding out later he was in his work clothes…. He was good humored about it. And, actually, he was a sheriff playing a cop…. In another county than the one I am located in “phew”)

(Though, nobody would take my suggestion that once the girl shot the bad guy who was going to murder her and was later giving her account of it to the cop, that he pat her on the shoulder and say “thanks for saving me a bullet”)

Anyway, that was my first taste of film acting and it was pretty incredible. I have yet to have my first taste of play acting and improvisation (other than drama class um, for the sake of my pride we’ll say “eh, just a few” years ago, because it certainly isn’t over a decade and a half or anything.) We’ll give my teacher at the time the title of “bitter ex actor taking her frustrations out on her students” and….. ACTION!

Yes I have a coach. I have not yet taken his class but he has helped me out and we get along rather well. He has faith in me and I’ll tell you, it’s a nice feeling. I have faith in me too.

So… where was I? Oh yes I started this in a mutilated prison-letter-asking-for-help-in-a-melodramatic-way and ended it with, well, this.

My sunburn itches.

Have a wonderful day!

Stacey

 

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“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”

-Richard Bach

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cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

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