I’ve been doing a lot of research around the internet lately. Blogs, pictures, websites, whatever catches my fancy and truthfully, most everything does. Some things have become quite the curiosity for me, and I’ve decided there are a few things about this culture I do not understand. If anybody has some wise explanation for the existence of these strange, almost animalistic behaviors, by all means please enlighten me!
This is not me planking
Talk about an (excuse the acronym) “OMG” moment. Or more like a “WTF” moment. What is the appeal of planking? I admit, the first one or two pictures I saw of someone planking was somewhat entertaining (haha, look at what that strange person is doing). But then I began to realize it has become a cultural obsession! How long has this bizarre behavior been going on? Where was I when it began? (Answer: Not planking.)
And people are just taking it too damn far, in my opinion. Not just by exhibit photo A (above), but this is proof of its gluttonous over-usage:
Now cook on HIGH for 4 minutes, turn once, and....
Who in their right minds would plank a baby on a microwave? That’s not cute. That’s dangerous and absurd.
The only form of planking I really understand is if it’s for some kind of act, something for entertainment as in contortionists and performers, for instance, this:
This is pretty cool
But this one is for entertainment and to show off your hard work and the skills that are produced from that hard work. Otherwise planking, to me, seems like a bunch of idiots laying around on their stomachs, propping themselves up on stuff or sticking their heads in toilets to look-… I don’t even know. Is “cool” the word I’m searching for? What term do the plankers use?
2.Taking pictures of your children with money
Is that how much he cost?
This is only one of literally hundreds I have discovered while scouring the internet for information. This one honestly baffles me. I just can’t figure out the “why”. WHY take pictures of your children with money? It seems to be most popular with babies. I just… the reason, the appeal, the whatever is just not there for me. Are we really so obsessed with money that we equate it to life?
3. The absurd over-usage of meaningless acronyms (or TAOUOMA, for short)
Now the usage of acronyms has been around forever, in every aspect of life and professions ranging from healthcare to the military to ship captains and more. The idea is as a time saver. So you don’t have to write out full explanations that take up a lot of time or space, or acronyms used to shorten titles so they aren’t so long to say. Some common examples of typical abbreviations you may or may not have heard, but most you probably have, and I threw in a couple of old ones:
CD– Compact Disc (Common usage since CDs were born)
ASAP– As Soon As Possible (Common usage)
SOB– Shortness of Breath (Healthcare usage) We all know its other meaning.
PDQ– Pretty Damn Quick (Common usage in the 1800’s)
CQD– Come Quick Distress (Used by ship captains before SOS was put into effect)
SOS– This actually does not have an alphabetic equal. This has a morse code equivalent as …_ _ _… and that is how it was first established in Germany in 1905. It became known as SOS because the code spells SOS. In some places, the _ _ _ in morse code stands for the number 5, and there the code is known as S5S. SOS stopped being used, officially, in 1999.
ETA– Estimated Time of Arrival (Used primarily in the Military)
AWOL– Absent Without Leave (Used primarily in the Military)
MIA– Missing In Action (Used primarily in the Military)
APB– All Points Bulletin (Used primarily in law enforcement)
BYOB– Bring Your Own Beer [or Bottle] (Used for parties in which the host just invited a bunch of alcoholics and doesn’t want to spend an inordinate amount of money on alcohol. Or, for short: If you want to drink, bring your own!)
BM– Bite Me (Uncommon usage) or Bowel Movement (Healthcare usage)
DIY– Do It Yourself (Common usage)
FAQ– Frequently Asked Questions (Common usage)
LEO– Law Enforcement Officer (guess)
FIFO– First In, First Out (Used primarily in food service)
The government is super good at acronyms: CIA, DHS, TSA, FBI, ICE,
Super good- just check out this list!
And it continues on. Nowadays, everything is turned into an acronym!
I’ll start by being fair and admitting that I use some acronyms too.
Acronyms I use regularly:
LOL- Laugh out Loud
IB– I’m Back
BRB– Be Right Back
TTYL– Talk To You Later
Acronyms I use sparingly:
WTF- What The Fuck (I only use this one when the implication is extreme.)
OMG– Oh My God (Only used with an undertone of sarcasm- and even then I feel my self-decency shrivel away as I use it.)
BTW– By The Way (This one is just habit.)
That’s pretty much it. LOL I adopted when it first began being used in the late nineties. Some of the others I adopted because of short-hand texting and limits to the length of texts on old or crappy phones.
OMFG,WTF,LOL,ROTFL,LMFAO,TY,NVM,SMH,FML,B/C,J/K,BF,BFF,GF,NG,CAD,CYA,FOB,FU,G2B,AAMOF,HTH,IMNSHO, WYSIWYG, BBLBNTSBO, Et Cetra. (I’ll post the meanings to these at the bottom in case you don’t know.)
This is extreme. It’s said that in fifty years, we won’t even use words anymore, it’ll all be acronyms. To me, this is lazy and annoying. Maybe I’m old fashioned or being on the cusp of Generation X and Generation Y, I’m more X than Y. I also don’t believe that acronyms, unless shortened as a title, or something too long or hard to say easily (CD, DVD, FAFSA, ETC.) should be spoken, especially not in every day conversation. Every time I hear somebody say “OMG” or “WTF” or “BFF” or “LMFAO” I want to slap them and tell them to use big-boy or big-girl words. Like I said, maybe I’m just not as Generation Y as one might expect of an early 80’s baby.
3.2- Full words shortened into acronyms
Just as annoying! (Handy for text limits, however)
Anyway, this is just three of many. So, like I said, if anyone can explain this phenomena, just let me know! Thx and Ttyl!
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OMFG,WTF,LOL,ROTFL,LMFAO,TY,NVM,SMH,FML,B/C,J/K,BF,BFF,GF,NG,CAD,CYA,FOB,FU,G2B,AAMOF,HTH,IMNSHO, WYSIWYG, BBLBNTSBO,
Oh My Fucking God, What The Fuck, Rolling On The Floor Laughing, Laughing My Fucking Ass Off, Thank You, Never Mind, Shaking My Head, Fuck My Life, Because, Just Kidding, Boyfriend (or Best friend), Best Friends Forever, Girlfriend, No Go, Control Alt Delete, See Ya, Fuck Off Bitch, Fucked up or Fuck You,Going To Bed, As A Matter Of Fact, Hope This Helps, In My Not So Humble Opinion,What You See Is What You Get,Be Back Later But Not Too Soon Because Of…
If you’re going to plank, don’t do it in a toilet. Or at least, make sure you’ve flushed the toilet first.