Tag Archives: coffee

Going Mad

WriteQuoteTuesday3

Ah, my mortal enemy. Writer’s block. But can it be considered genuine “writer’s block” (Not that I believe in it, as you know from previous posts) if I know exactly what I want to write… But not how?

All week long I’ve come up with BRILLIANT ideas, the stuff that BRILLIANCE is made of. (Yes I’m sober.)

But every time I sit down at my typewriter- nil. Nothing. Nada. Niente. Nine.

Why? Good Gosh, I haven’t a clue.

So here is my night in a nutshell before my nightcap.

I make dinner (yum but yawn), watch an episode of Quantum Leap (“Dreams” season 4) get all intrigued and ideas begin to flow (again). Sit at computer (actually, I’m already seated at it). Open Word. Nothing. Get up, dance for an hour and a half to clear my mind. It works. The ideas begin to flow. They build up until I begin to tremble, the sweat pours down my body, my heart is pounding to the rhythm of my desire to write and passion to put quill to paper or fingers to keys is almost too much to handle! I’m going to explode! Hurry up, damnit, Microsoft Word just open the new file! Yes, I want a blank page. Yes I want it formatted. Yes, yes yes, yes YES!

Nothing.

Blog about it.

Still nothing.

Sigh.

Writing does clear my mind, it’s the reason I do it, among many reasons indeed. I rather appreciate a clear mind when I go about my daily business, especially when my daily business IS business, such as today when all I’ve done is reformat, upload, edit, talk to a business development person from the SBA (Small Business Association), come up with a game plan to promote both businesses and myself. Hours spent on what appears to be nothing by the end of the day. Though, Amazon now has updated copies of The Legends of Sangue books 1-3 by Stacey Katheryn through The Village Poet Press. I have some wonderful ideas to work on this business and my Massage business. So I suppose, today was VERY productive.

Today my mind was flowing with ideas as most other days, wishing I was in a place or time to sit and write. I have millions of ideas just floating around in this noggin of mine. So why can’t I let them escape?

I will tell you the one thing I have discovered so far. It’s entirely mental. (But isn’t everything related to writing just mental?) There is something that is stopping my fingers whenever I put them to the keyboard. Now, I am rewording some things, editing my book, prepping it for its June publication (Check out details here: Of Trust of Treason, Book Four of The Legends of Sangue) but I can’t seem to do anything but play with what is already there.

Where’s the new stuff? In my head, silly. Hell, I have entire books planned by now. All I need to do is get past this mental block and get them down.

I have a feeling it’s either going to take an exorbitant amount of alcohol, or an exorbitant amout of chocolate and coffee.

Or Elvis.

“For I can’t help falling in love with you…”

Stacey

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“Good fiction’s job is to comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comfortable.”

-David Foster Wallace

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cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

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The Picture, and big news on the book front!

cofee!

 

Ok, I realize I haven’t explained the picture yet, and I’m being bugged to, lol. I needed a picture with a URL link since wordpress widgets won’t let you upload from your computer. I didn’t feel like trying to figure out how to convert a pic that way, so I posted it and used the link to the pic itself for my Massage site. Did it work? No. Well, yes. But I didn’t like the pic. Go figure eh?

I have been so tired lately (and busy! Probably why I’m so tired!) I’m a little behind schedule on book 3, but I’m catching up. Starting the 20th (This Wednesday!) I’m going to start posting snippets online in preparation for its publication on March 13th.  Well, I have a TON of stuff to get to today, but my schedule will soon be changing, so I promise I won’t neglect you guys so much! Thanks for your patience!

 

Me

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The Twenty Eight Year Old Spinster

There is something stuck in my craw. And I mean REALLY stuck. I can’t dig it out, I’ve tried, so I decided to write about it. Maybe somebody will find some morbid sense of inspiration in it. It’s about career-oriented individuals. With a twist.

There has been an irritatingly common attitude I’ve had to battle for about, oh, ten years now. I realize I should not let it get to me, but it has. Right now, given the horrific day I’ve had, it seems as though the only remedy to not letting things upset me, that I should be able to shrug off and can’t, is to write about it.

What is a career-oriented individual? Somebody who has put all their focus in life into their careers.

The antagonist (by that I simply mean opposite): A family-oriented individual. Somebody who puts all their focus in life into beginning and taking care of their families.

A true mother at heart, though without any living children, I will tell you exactly why I am the former of the two choices. And what kind of shit I get for it.

I’ll start with the shit.

I am a single twenty eight year old woman with no children and nil prospects. I spend my “off time” at my computer, sometimes in pajamas.I drink coffee, I stay up late, I sometimes get up late. I am often treated as irresponsible, unconventional, lazy, uncaring, messy.

Here’s the What’s What and the Why’s Why.

Sometimes perception only goes as far as the mind allows. To see someone at their computer for “hours” or someone who gets up later than you do or somebody who stays in their pajamas all day long sometimes, I may think “lazy” (actually, I wouldn’t) but some people may.

Those people may not take into consideration that I stayed late at work the night before, crawling on top of ten-foot coolers and freezers, moving around boxes of paperwork, climbing up and down ladders, cleaning the whole building, spending a substantial amount of time IN the freezer restocking breads and meats, hauling tons to trash bags and even a fake Christmas tree to the dump.

I’ve been in a multitude of jobs/career potentials. Massage therapist student, CNA, Business owner, a multitude of management positions, I’ve been responsible for the virtues of whole businesses as well as actual human lives. I’ve assisted in resuscitations, I’ve worked 16-20 hour shifts, I’ve been involved in emergency life-and-death situations, some of which my own decisions were the key factor to ending said situations pleasantly. I’ve changed and toileted 65 full grown adults 2-3 times a night, all inflicted with Alzheimers, in between juggling feeding and charting and bandaging and doing full bed changes and baths and running up and down halls 8-12 hours straight night after night, while short staffed and working well past the end of my shift.

I’ve been responsible for business decisions that would affect the whole store, the whole company. I’ve had franchise-wide reputation for being a damn good manager and the one to go to in case problems were to arise- and I wasn’t officially the store manager. But I was given the responsibility of such (not the pay of course). I worked an average of 14-16 hour shifts, 11-15 days in a row at this particular job.

I’ve held multiple jobs. I had two jobs while being a full time student. I worked two jobs while training to become a CNA. While training to become a medication assistant. I worked mega-long shifts in acute care pediatrics- and let me tell you, it’s not easy. I’ve been the sole person responsible for the lives of those I’ve taken care of, infant to a hundred and one, in a number of terrible situations, some of which I’ll never repeat, and not just for ethical reasons.

Not to mention 90% of the time I’m at my computer, I am writing, which, believe you me, is a whole other career, especially now that I am published.

SO….

It should be fairly understandable why I take offense in people assuming I am lazy or irresponsible to the point they insinuate I’m not responsible enough to care for their children, ask my why I’m single, tell me “you’ll understand when you’re a parent” when I become concerned that they are so tired and worn out. I’ll understand when I’m a parent?

Try being responsible for 65 people completely out of their mind with brain-degenerative diseases entirely on your own.

If I choose to relax on my “off time” in my pajamas at my computer, working on my stories, then for fuck’s sake that’s what I’m going to do. Because in most cases, I’m tired, I’m sore, I’m frustrated, I’ve only had two hours of sleep thus the reason I’ve “slept in”, and if I want to escape the holier-than-thou attitude of some people I know by staying indoors in my pajamas, I’m going to do it.

Just because I haven’t yet found somebody to treat me well enough to begin a family with, I’m approaching my thirties without a load full of little ones clinging to me, doesn’t make me irresponsible. It doesn’t make me lazy, or childish.

It’s somewhat cute when someone’s young child asks, “Why are you still single?” or “Why don’t you have any kids?” (Because believe me, I’ve gotten this question a lot from a lot of children I know in my life)

But when you consider the fact that they’re only asking because they’ve overheard someone talking about you behind your back  and are the only ones with the guts to ask these questions to your face, that sort of changes that.

I’m a mother at heart. I’ve always wanted children. And I’ll get there. But I’m not going to throw myself at the mercy of the first man willing to lie to my face to get sex and pretend to be interested in having a family or interested in what I’m interested in or pretending to share the same dreams, just for the aforementioned sex, because if I was that type of girl I would have done so long ago. I nearly have. Luckily, I caught my mistakes on time and wisened up. Another reason I’m glad I didn’t start young.

I know it’s cliche to say so, but it holds merit. I’m waiting. Waiting for the right time, for the right guy, for the right moment. But I refuse, I absolutely refuse to waste my life while doing so. If I want to write, publish my novels, work a career or two while I’m at it, keep busy and active and healthy and open to possibility, I’ll do so. Without your judgment and assumptions to make any difference, thank you.

I’ve been asked, What if you wait too long?

I’m only twenty eight, and who the hell are you to judge what exactly “too long” is? I’ve known couples in their sixties and seventies fall in love and marry for the first time. Pay less attention to my life and more attention to yours. I’ll get there when I’m ready. And guess what?

Only I know when that will be.

So, now that I’ve vented, I am going to meditate, relax, maybe have a sip or two of something good and reflect back on the possibilities I do have. There is never nothing there, and never nothing going on. The key is to find all the good you can out of it, and let that positivity open your mind and fill your heart.

Only then can you see a clear path. Have a beautiful day.

Stacey

 

By the way, this post goes pretty well with the one above: CNA’s- we’re awesome and we know it

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Fantasy Versus Fiction

“Versus”- A word denoting competition. One over the other. One differs than the other. This isn’t true.

That is, this isn’t true for fantasy and fiction. Because all fiction is fantasy.

Although, not all fantasy is fiction. Does that make sense?

No, no I promise, no booze is involved with this blog. Coffee, yes, booze, no.

Though I’m feeling more random today than I was yesterday. I suppose I haven’t been listening to Weird Al today, I’ve been listening to Bruce Springsteen, CCR, and a tiny bit of old school Ice Cube.

Mainly, I’ve been writing for hours and it’s felt GREAT. Especially since this is a book that’s been rewritten twice and still haven’t gotten right- and for the first time, I figured out how to get it right.

Oh well, it’s time to work on my wordpress for my series, because I haven’t touched it in awhile and it needs done. Check out its first post:  Intensity

And one last thought of the night: I can’t explain it, but every time I hear “Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster” I feel cool. Every time I listen to “Pour Some Sugar On Me” I feel sexy. This is going to lead me into the post I promised awhile ago about playlists and writing. Soon enough, my fun-loving friends. Soon enough 🙂

Have a gorgeous night!

Stacey

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* My blog: Words of Fantasy *

The Legends of Sangue *

* Purchase Blood of Darkness *

* Purchase Murder on her Mind *

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Christmas Blessings

Christmas-Tree-Fireplace-1024-127315

My Christmas Blessings for the year 2012:

1. A brand new niece

2. Four other wonderful nieces that are and will always be my inspiration

3. The first snowflake on Christmas Eve so light you can see all six points of the ice crystal on your glove

4. Eggnog and coffee, and vegan Christmas cake

5. Destroyed bon bons in which turned into My Magical Coconutty Slivers of Life that people still loved

6. Seeing my grandparents again, which doesn’t happen nearly enough

7. Wonderful friends, family and followers

Thank you, everyone, all my dedicated readers and friends, for being part of my life! Have a very merry Christmas!!

 

Stacey

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* My Series: The Legends of Sangue *

* Purchase Blood of Darkness *

* Purchase Murder on her Mind *

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Rockin Robin

I wish I could come up with some kind of inspirational inscription for you all to cherish (or read and discard of your own desire) however, I have caffeinated myself with organic green tea and B vitamins, which strangely puts me in a grander mood than regular coffee, organic or not, and am enjoying myself by listening (and dancing to) Rockin Robin, by Bobby Day. “He rocks in the tree top, all day long, hoppin’ and a’boppin’ and a’singin his song, all the little birds on jaybird street, love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet” How can you not sing and bop along?

There is something to be said for the golden oldies- or as I call it, music I grew up with and have loved since day one of my existence. The post-WWII era be-bop, happiness in musical notation variety, high school love and subtle innuendos, beats that get you moving no matter what mood you happen to be in. At The Hop, Splish Splash, Great Balls of Fire.

Then there’s the soul and R&B of the glory days, music that hits you in the heart and keeps digging in, in such a beautiful way, the smooth rhythms, deep vocal tones to match the wondrous bass so touching and so beautiful you close your eyes and relish in the lyrics that make you feel so in touch with life, the way life should be. Stand By Me, Drift Away, even Mustang Sally.

The girl groups (also known as Motown), so gorgeous and freeing to the woman’s soul, regardless of race, there is something incredibly empowering about women getting together, getting up in front of a crowd in a still as-yet male dominated world, and singing their soulful hearts out. The fact that they were black in a white dominated world during a very racially suppressed time, makes it even more admirable. Heat Wave, One Fine Day, Leader of the Pack.

Even the gritty, deep sounds of bluegrass, sometimes laced with humor, sometimes laced with deep tones and lyrics. Beautiful and moving no matter which way you look at it. King of the Road, A Boy Named Sue.

Needless to say, half the time when I’m in the car alone, I’m listening to the Oldies station. Which, by now, plays songs not just from the 50’s and 60’s, but 70’s as well. I can forgive that, saying that I love what I will always consider classic rock (70’s.) Accepting that songs of those years are now considered oldies only forces me to accept the years gone by. However, to ME, and MY opinion, Oldies will always be 50’s to late 60’s.

I’m not entirely sure the reason for this blog, except that I woke up drawing inspiration from these songs, and thought I would write about it before the expectations of my day begin to close in on me.

Speaking of expectations: Do I have the guts to make another vlog today? I have received zero response from the last one (haha, honestly expected.) I just need to persevere and make more, ahem, not so idiotic videos. Not bad for my first video considering I was babbling for over an hour and so tired I felt ready to, well, take a nap. But honestly, if I want to find some way to promote me as a blogger, writer, entertainer, and promote my book of which I plan to publish soon… I need to up my game.

I.E.- not be afraid to actually PROMOTE myself, rather than blog, vlog, not market and expect my blogging to independently take it upon itself to market itself.

There’s a lot to be said for hard work. And that’s the only way this is going to work.

Whoops, expectation is creeping up, I can smell it. Better end this blog and hope for the best!

Stacey

“The only one who could ever reach me was the sweet-talkin son of a preacher man!”

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* Have Some Laughs *

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I’m A YouTube Star!

AND…. My first Vlog has been uploaded!!! (Finally, right?) You can view it here:

Thanks for viewing, and let me know what you think! Here’s a little numbered background on the making of this video.

1. I was bored.

2. The video editing program really isn’t as difficult as it seemed at first, now that I’ve pulled out half my hair and drank more coffee than humanly possible.

3. I threw in some cats for fun.

Enjoy!

Stacey

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* Follow My Fantasy Novel *

* My Author Page *

* Have Some Laughs *

* My Video Blog *

* My Written Blog *

 

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Simplicity is in the Eye of the Coffee Cup- Web Cam Saga 4

Ok, so I turn on the program, hit two buttons and there I am. Simple, effective- awake! I realize the microphone is working by a little diagram on the screen that goes up and down and from green-to-yellow-to-red as it reads the sound and tells me I’m too loud (I’m shouting directly into it just to turn it red- it’s kind of fun! For uh, testing purposes, I mean.) Ha. Ha. My technological illiteracy has once again sufficed for my needs!

Now here’s a few decisions I need to really focus on.

1. WHAT in the world do I do about the 6 ultra-bright LED lights fixed to the web cam to allow for night-vision, that I had mistakenly believed could be turned on and off at will, only to find myself completely blinded every time I look at it? There really is nothing I can do. Plus, I need more light anyway. Decision taken care of. Try not t squint.

2. BACKGROUND. I have studied video and film making enough to know that you want something subtle, distinct, and not too eye-catching in the background. You don’t want BLANK, you want personality, but you can’t have it cluttered. Right now my scenario is clutter/generic pieces of white paper tacked to white wall with scribbles of notes regarding my novel. The most interesting scribble of which reads “holy fucking potatoes!” (A quote I need to remember to insert, also the set-up for a chapter. Long story. My niece asked about it too. She thought I meant to use it as a chapter title. I told her it would make a funny chapter title, and she burst into laughter.) So… decision: Chose 1 wall piece to initiate subtle visual stimuli. If I had a picture of Jezzie my Chuhuahuador, I might use that. But I don’t. And with how intent she is on helping me slowly type this through claws and gritted teeth against the pain she is causing me with those claws- I may just tack her up.

3. Make-up, hair, clothes? My mother says I am the most “vain” of the family (she did not mean it in a mean way, she means it in the way that I am more particular about my appearance than most others. Including clothes and make-up. And I tended to disagree with her until she brought up the point one day when I turned around and drove back home in my car, making myself late because I noticed in the rear-view mirror that my black hat and grey/blue shirt in the greyish winter sky washed out my hazel eyes and I needed to put on some blue eyeshadow to bring the blue out in them again to match the blue in my shirt and push aside the grey, because I hate grey….) Anyway I’m off topic. I need to look good and not washed out. So makeup, hair, and I need to drag in my lamp because unfortunately, my corner is not bright enough and those blinding LEDs just don’t work well enough.

Ok so that’s all for the moment. Me and my bleeding clawed arm will continue on as I go. Hopefully, one of these nexts posts will include a short video for demonstration!

More as events unfold.

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Follow my novel at:

http://sangueseries.wordpress.com/

My vlog channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/StaceyKatheryn

My author page:

http://www.facebook.com/staceykatheryn

My blog page:

http://www.staceykatheryn.wordpress.com

 

 

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Setting Up My Web Cam- Written Version 3

“I just wanted to read my Kindle… that’s all I ever asked for!” As a fake invisible tear slowly drips down my exhausted cheek.

The coffee is in the gut! And the web cam program awaits my return. I have to fight the feeling that this web cam appeared when it did in the mail solely to interrupt my private time with Jacki (my Kindle, silly) and much needed rest. But that’s not true. It arrived when it did because it’s excited to meet all of you!

Or to torture me on how to figure it all out (sometimes things you buy from Amazon.com don’t always come with instructions. Worth it, however, considering buying it from amazon saved me almost 40 dollars.) Now you would think a simple, “duh, plug it in and turn it on” would do. Not when you’re planning to record. “Just hook it up and record directly to YouTube!” Not my style. I want it saved to my computer and edited before I look like an idiot in front of my friends.

So what to do, what to do? Continue this adventure. I have refueled, I’m ready to continue. What will the next few moments bring?

More as events unfold!

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Follow my novel at:

http://sangueseries.wordpress.com/

My vlog channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/StaceyKatheryn

My author page:

http://www.facebook.com/staceykatheryn

My blog page:

http://www.staceykatheryn.wordpress.com

 

 

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Setting Up My Web Cam- Written Version

Why won’t this plug in?? It’s universal!!! It should fit!! There is no difference between this and every other thing that plugs into this….. thing! Whatever this thing is, it should plug in! They’re the same color, right? Check. Made for a PC, right? Check. Made for the right operating program right? Check times three. Why won’t it fit??

Oh, it’s turned the wrong way. Nope. It’s not. Wait. ::jiggles it:: Nope. ::Glares at it:: That doesn’t help either. “Why won’t you fit!!??” ::Crawls all the way on top of desk, perches vicariously on the edge of slippery desk in even more slippery socks, bending and twisting like a contortionist to ensure there isn’t something absolutely obvious I’m possibly missing:: Nope. It should fit.

Why won’t it??

::Studies it:: “Nope you’re the right one.” ::Perches on desk like a parrot, moaning at sore muscles and studying the plug-in again:: There is no reason this shouldn’t fit. “What is wrong with you stupid thing??”

:::Jams it in the plug- goes halfway.:: “Whoops, did I break you? No. There’s wiggle room. That’s because you’re only half in. Well… shit.” ::Takes it out and carefully inserts it into hole, losing grip halfway through due to slippery socks slipping off slippery desk:: “%*#$!”

Finally, leaning over my computer balanced on top of it carefully on my belly, using unnecessary “oomph”, it inserts completely in, as intended by the manufacturer.

And that, my friend, is the correct way to install the external microphone to your web cam. (The web cam installment itself was uneventful- it plugs into the USB, and the USB is located conveniently in the front.) And this plug-in couldn’t be so convenient why?? To make silly people like me look sillier, that’s why.

More as events unfold.

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Follow my novel at:

http://sangueseries.wordpress.com/

My vlog channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/StaceyKatheryn

My author page:

http://www.facebook.com/staceykatheryn

My blog page:

http://www.staceykatheryn.wordpress.com

 

 

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