Tag Archives: dance

Scared shitless

Because I am nothing but honest with my readers/fans, I would like to share a little story. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared shitless in my entire life. Why?

Well, it’s a long story and I’ll get to that. I was one of those children whose WORST fears when it came to anything social was being in a crowd and not knowing what to do. The feeling that everyone knew what to do but me. Especially if I was being watched or anything was expected of me. There are certain things I have trouble memorizing (sequence, for starters.) The reason I write out-of-sequence, before putting pieces together.

When it comes to acting plays you can see where this may become a problem. As a child I opted out of anything that I’d have to learn rules/sequence (except dance, but even then I ended up joining a troupe of mostly improv moves, subtle visual cues and just learning to trust my fellow troupe dancers and myself)

I always thought if I got into acting, I would suck at improvisation and was always terrified to try. But it’s the monologues I’m having trouble with.

Tonight we had our first “stumble through” of our upcoming play. Not only did I get the impression everyone knew more than I did- They did. They all knew their lines either in part or whole. Yes, as a mystery dinner theatre it’s partial improv with some monologue that we’re allowed to play a bit with. Ok. BUT… I’m a busy woman (no excuse). Let’s try again. I’m riddled with fear (nope, that’s not right either) I rewrote my monologues last night (that’s the truth) and failed to memorize them on time, then panicked and forgot everything I did have memorized (all my other lines, when to come in, last lines of others’ monologues so I knew when to come in- my guiding star. Etc.)

I’ve discovered a lot about myself in this endeavor. 1. I’m learning all about ME. 2. As long as I know WHEN I come in, I can memorize anything I damn want. I always knew that where my efforts of sequence are AWFUL, my skills of memorization are precise, quick, photographic. As long as I know what line to listen for an actor to say, I know exactly where to come in and how. So put the new monologue aside, realizing that’s a non-worry and it’ll be completely memorized by tomorrow. It’s when actors change their lines on stage that confuses me, then leaves me with that “everyone knows what’s happening but me” sensation.

See, tonight I tried to go “au-natural” my term for NO SCRIPT (except my new monologues, one nearby to glance at briefly, the other longer one on a piece of paper to glance at in my hand.) The rest I went over enough to remember where I came in, since my miscellaneous lines are brief and mainly improvised when I speak them. I have nothing against my fellow actors improvising, when done at me I can usually respond pretty quickly. But when they add, forget or change that last line of theirs I had memorized to know where I follow, all is lost, and I’m like… Duuurrr….

Anyway, I am learning to overcome that, along with my childhood fear. I learned: Even if that is the case, nothing bad happened! The world did not end, I did not die, I did not run out of the room, people did not stare at me funny or make fun of me or decide I’m horrible on the spot. I was ok. I am ok. And that’s the best thing to remember.

So moral of the story, Trust yourself, and listen to your inner voice.

You’ll surprise yourself every time.

-Stacey Katheryn


“To survive, you must tell stories.”

-Umberto Eco


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I don’t have a lot of time, I must make this brief (haha, get it, “brief”). I’m sunburned and I must go put on some aloe, or who knows what may happen (Um, it might stay a little redder a little longer. Maybe itch a little.)

I have some challenges I must soon face. Massaging and choreographing and dancing and performing as a dead woman in one half a commercial (in the other half I’m alive) but I play somebody who is ten years older than myself. (Hey, in the play, I’m ten years younger, so… yeah.) I must say, since the two balance one another out, I won’t take it as a commentary upon my age. I can play a 19 year old as well as a 39 year old, I say I’m ok (Ha. Ha. So far people can believe the mother of two teenagers more than the 19 year old. Well, depending on who you ask. I’m just sorry I asked anyone, hehe.)

Ah yes, and I’m acting. And choreographing a dance number for me and two other gals, who I have yet to find but you know, it’ll happen.

One is a scripted commercial and the other is a half scripted/half improvised murder mystery play. The best of both worlds. I was privy to be witness to the shooting of a commercial in the same series of commercials I’m taking part in. Makes me wish I’d gone to the Art Institute of Seattle for film directing after all, lol (But don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to be anything but a massage therapist now and becoming one changed my life in miraculous ways, I am immensely forever grateful to my teachers and clients and colleagues and profession.)

But don’t worry, I’m still writing (EDITING at the moment, I hardly call that RELEASING MY INNER CREATIVITY. Why yes, this word is misspelled I must take all the magical creativity within my soul and… and…. correct it! Yawn.).

It was difficult not speaking up when I was watching the director with his camera. I gave some advice but I wanted to get in there and adjust angles and pipe up with story line ideas and go hog-wild crazy, at the same time I wanted to jump in front of that camera and start going wild. It was wild, haha. REPETITIVE. Rehearse. Do it once. GREAT! Let’s try it a couple more times. I THINK THAT’S THE ONE!! Let’s do it a few more times just to be sure. TENTH TIME IS THE CHARM!!! Yeah!!!! Now, let’s do the exact same thing twice as many times from two other angles…. HEHE. All the while the man playing the bad guy is standing in the background bored to tears and absentmindedly playing with his switch blade (creepy), and I inadvertently insulted a cop (I saw him in costume and said “nice get up” I meant the compliment and he thanked me. Haha. Finding out later he was in his work clothes…. He was good humored about it. And, actually, he was a sheriff playing a cop…. In another county than the one I am located in “phew”)

(Though, nobody would take my suggestion that once the girl shot the bad guy who was going to murder her and was later giving her account of it to the cop, that he pat her on the shoulder and say “thanks for saving me a bullet”)

Anyway, that was my first taste of film acting and it was pretty incredible. I have yet to have my first taste of play acting and improvisation (other than drama class um, for the sake of my pride we’ll say “eh, just a few” years ago, because it certainly isn’t over a decade and a half or anything.) We’ll give my teacher at the time the title of “bitter ex actor taking her frustrations out on her students” and….. ACTION!

Yes I have a coach. I have not yet taken his class but he has helped me out and we get along rather well. He has faith in me and I’ll tell you, it’s a nice feeling. I have faith in me too.

So… where was I? Oh yes I started this in a mutilated prison-letter-asking-for-help-in-a-melodramatic-way and ended it with, well, this.

My sunburn itches.

Have a wonderful day!




“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”

-Richard Bach


cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

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Internet Purgatory


At risk of complaining, I prefer my own computer. But right now, it is experiencing a pseudo-reality of which I like to refer to as “Internet Purgatory”, the state of being one’s internet connection becomes when there is issues with either the connection, company, or computer.

The definition of this internet’s state of being [purgatory] is described as being stuck in “load” mode, without crashing, without timing-out, and without loading the page. Also, when it takes more than 2 seconds to scroll down a page.

Being that the internet connection here is not always the best, I automatically assumed it was purely the internet. When other computers proved to not have as severe an issue as mine, I began to dig a little deeper. The possibilities are endless.

So I’m in the process of cleaning, tweaking, defragging, scanning, and spit-shining my computer with the working theory that the issue may be directly involved with the DVD player. Hopefully the issue will resolve soon.

Of course, the more I use the same internet connection on another computer and once again it proves to be as slow as mine, I begin to rework my theory (again) but since it works the first ten minutes and slightly better for certain sites, and nobody has the patience to wait ten minutes to prove my theory, it remains my word against the internet’s, and the internet costs more. I lose. At least my computer will be nice and clean, and other programs work fine.


I finally got my debts at the library (not mine, thanks) paid off, so I can use their internet, but it’s a long walk/tedious drive/unreliable resource. I don’t always have the time to wait in line to use the computers, to have an hour limited usage when I have emails to check, blogs to keep up with, marketing, so on and so forth. Plus, there’s no looking up funny images for my blogs or enough time to do substantial research and of course, no way I can watch how-to YouTube videos to learn the Charleston dance.


Not something one can do in the public library

 I will soon write a blog as to WHY I am learning the Charleston dance, because it is a magnificent story. But this blog is already taken up a ridiculous amount of time, and writing another will take another two hours, three or four if I want to add pictures. So I promise, I will write one soon, either my next day off, or the library, lol! Until further notice!

Have a beautiful day!!



“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

-Ernest Hemingway


cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

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Doing It Gangnam Style


So, I will not insult myself by saying I know the “why”s behind this video, song and dance. I can surmise that we’ve never had a musician from South Korea before, therefore the immediate popularity was unexpected but understandable. I could assume that we all needed a good laugh, and this provides just that. Possibly the allure of having a new single sung in Korean and the luster of foreign music is so strong and so enduring in this country. But somehow, in some way, this song went HUGE (the first Youtube video to hit over a billion views, in fact)

And I figured out why. Of course, so has many people. Nobody likes the song for the song, we like it for the DANCE. Yes, you know what I’m talking about.

I took the liberty of teaching myself said dance. Now that my dreams of dancing professionally are back on track (I know I know how many careers can one girl have? As many as I damn well want) I figured…. What the hell kind of dancer would I be if I didn’t know how to do it Gangnam Style????

And It. Is. FUN

Absurdly silly, but fun! Everyone should try it. I will advocate that. Try it, just once.

Of course, how dancing over the centuries went from this:


And this:


To this:


And this:


Is a little beyond me…. But still fun, none-the-less.

Anyway, I figure now that my massage business is taking off, my book sales are going up and I’m getting a handle on both, I’ll get back to dancing! Even put my dance mirror back up and spend a couple hours every day in front of it…

Doing it Gangnam Style!!




“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity”

-Edgar Allan Poe


cover    For more information on my published novels, click here!

thevillagepoetpress  Visit The Village Poet Press (My publishing company)

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