I was analyzing randomness the other day. Mostly because I had been having a very random day, and I like random humor, and I think a lot of people do too. Unexpected, ironic even.
Oops, my ice cream is melting.
It seemed like everything that happened that day was happening out of the blue, completely random, with meaning- though I wasn’t entirely sure what kind of meaning that was. For instance, the dominos game I was playing with a group of people. It started with the loser from last week’s game winning three in a row hands down the best wins I’d ever seen.
“Joy to the world, all the boys and girls now. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, joy to you and me…”
And then just as if somebody had flipped a switch, suddenly the lady across from us was winning hands down, three in a row. And during our excited conversation about that and whether or not the voice on the television in the other room belonged to Alan Alda or not, it occured to me.
As a little girl, I had a crush on Alan Alda. In fact, I think I still might (the uh, 1972-1983 one, not the 76 year old one now.)
As if that wasn’t all amazing enough, after a couple more random games of dominos- me and the partner I was playing with won THREE IN A ROW!! That blew us all away. The ONLY games we’d never lost!!
That also happened to be the day that I saw the stupid car tailgating a handicapped man in a wheelchair, as is told in Peeved As A Pet. That alone was random for the fact that I hadn’t seen the man in a long time, and sometimes I still find myself surprised by the pure stupidity of other people.
Of course, what I thought after seeing that was that he should be carrying around a shotgun on his wheelchair- nobody would tailgate him again after that. Of course, we wouldn’t want him getting pulled over by a cop. Then again, I’m pretty sure he’s a retired disabled vet, so he may just be packing and we don’t know it.
I mean, I realize that Captain Pierce was a womanizer and I knew that, even as a little girl, but he had such a way with the ladies and a suaveness I didn’t quite understand at my age. Now I know he was just a horny jackass, doesn’t make him any less suave.
(I don’t like to CHANGE my work, so on this day, 30th January, 2013, I have something important to ADD to this blog: I’ve been watching MASH from episode one through all eleven seasons and I must give my sincerest apologies to Doctor Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce, Captain at the M.A.S.H 4077. Why? Because in my young opinion of him and the miscellaneous episode of MASH I caught on Nick at Nite, I failed to see just how wonderfully moral and such a humanitarian he is. I mean, how could I miss that? How many lives he’s saved, children and elderly, soldier and civilian, friendly and enemy, even horse and dog alike, without a thought beyond everyone is human and deserves a chance to live. How honorable. His way of hitting on the ladies was his way of dealing with the traumas he saw day in and day out, something perhaps a youngster couldn’t understand, but an adult can. Same with his ornery sense of humor and suaveness. Honestly, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Damn, I think I have a crush on him all over again. And trust you me, this blog has been haunting me ever since I began watching MASH again. I had to write this excerpt. I hope I am forgiven.)
OMG, this guitar is infuriating. Most of the time I LOVE guitar, but not when it’s labeled “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” By the Beatles, and it turns out somebody just played a bunch of random guitar and labeled it that way. It sounds more like a massacre rather than a gentle weep.
Then later that day I had to deal with a lady inflicted with mild Alzheimer’s and that, I guarantee you, is ALWAYS random. You’ve not known random until you’ve known someone with that disease, in the beginning-mid stages especially. I found my mind bombarded with everything from silverware to beads to trees and ladders and rhubarb dream bars. It was unsettling.
I suppose I’m still in a random mood, not quite having recovered from hitting my back on the edge of a metal container holding a fire extinguisher while trying to soap down a painted wooden tree, and shake dust off spray painted pine cones while battling plastic canvas reindeer for the title of “dustiest figurine in the hallway”. I think by the end of that endeavor, I had won.
What television shows are good for during sleepless nights.
1. Rosanne- good for hardcore exercising. The main character alone is enough to get you off your lazy ass and scare you into shaping up.
2. I Love Lucy- good for laughs, reminiscence and realizing that women really were treated like crap in the 40’s. (And day dreaming about Desi Arnaz, of course.)
3. Hot In Cleveland- good for reaffirmation that Betty White is one of the most awesome women in existence, good laughs, and remembering that you actually like the other ladies playing in the show too.
4. Three’s Company- good for reminiscing about the good ol’ days when TV Land used to play shows that weren’t new when I was little, and also, oh yeah, that I had a crush on John Ritter as a little girl, too.
Who didn’t?? RIP 😦
Anyway, this post wasn’t nearly as random as I’d wanted, disincluding popcorn and rabbits and easter bunny copulation and sewer gas. However, I hope it sufficed to bring upon some sort of entertainment, as it was quite entertaining to my mind. (Mostly, pictures #2, 6 and 7)
Have a good random night, and have random good dreams!!!
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